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Sunday, 11 September 2016

These past few months have been a complete whirlwind; from going through a break up, to a custody battle over the pets (Yes, really and spoiler alert: I won) to moving house. Unsurprisingly, my head has been a bit manic but the thing which has kept going through my head throughout all of this was "shit... I'm single now?" This is a strange concept to someone who was in a relationship for almost five years, from the ages of 16 to 21. I won't go into the gory details but as I have been single for about a month and a half now, I have figured a few things out which I am going to share with all my new singletons out there.

CRYING IS OKAY - Regardless of whether you did the dumping or if you're the dumpee, you're going to cry. This wasn't something I was expecting if I'm honest, I was the one who did the break up and thought "nah, I'm not going to cry" boy oh boy, I was wrong. Whenever I found a picture of us while packing, or even something as daft and meaningless as a stray sock. I cried through it all. This doesn't make me weak, this doesn't mean that I regret my decision, it simply means that I am a human being. It is okay to be sat at home on a Saturday night, drinking wine in your PJs and sobbing into your ice cream. If you don't cry at all, that's okay too.

REBOUNDING IS OKAY - This was something that I learned straight away. I had rebound sex with someone else pretty soon after the break up. I found that so long as feelings don't get involved and both parties are okay with just casual sex, then it is okay. At this point, I had only slept with one person so I was pretty nervous but in the end it all checked out fine, I mean, he wasn't that great in bed but it was enough to satisfy my rebounding urges before I found someone MUCH better in the sack.

GETTING BACK INTO DATING - As mentioned above, being in a five year, comfortable relationship where you know everything about them, warts and all, to starting fresh over and getting back into the dating world is a scary thing. When is the best time to start dating? Is it too soon? Am I ready to get back into the dating world? Are some of the questions which will likely go through your head. I've been on a few dates already, they went okay but nothing came from it but casual sex and then they ended up in the "Tinder graveyard", as my good friend Vix would say. If you don't think you're ready to go out into the big dating world just yet, then that's fine too.

Some people go out partying a lot, others dye their hair drastic colours (this was me) and some people do nothing at all. There isn't a right or wrong way to deal with a break up. So long as you're safe and aren't putting yourself in danger.

You're on your own now, so stick on your Independent Lady playlist, crank the music up and belt your hearts out. Take everything at your own pace and you can do whatever the fuck you like (or who, if you're like me)
  1. Awww you go girl! Such an honest article, your blog is so original and I love your style! I love how you're not afraid to write about what matters :D you're one in a million! xx

    elizabeth ♡ ”Ice Cream” whispers Clara | (lets follow each other on bloglovin or instagram)